An American Mermaid Named Elektra

I saw the program that Derren Brown did about luck and it really struck a chord with me;  the premise was about our luck being very much in our own hands and we are either open to positive things happening to us or closed to them.  Some of the examples were maybe a little far-fetched but I think to a degree it’s true, but is it luck? Surely luck is out of our control, beyond the fact that you do have to have a lottery ticket in order to win.  Anyway after a run of bad luck I seem to have found myself in a sort of muddled through temporary solution which is if not luck certainly fortuitous, so I’ll thank the luck gods anyway (just in case). More of that shortly….

Yesterday I finally properly made the most of not working and amongst other jobs actually tackled the pile of ironing that is so large it probably should be declared as a tenant and pay rent.  I got it down to the last four items and somehow, call me sentimental, couldn’t quite empty the basket – it didn’t seem right.  The pile got me back though as I discovered that I couldn’t fit all my clothes into the wardrobe, the wash basket sort of sat there looking at me smugly saying “see I told you so”. We’ve made a pact it won’t be too intrusive and I’ll leave it alone as much as I can, it’s a good compromise.

After wearing my domestic goddess crown and seriously thinking about giving Nigella a run for her money I was unexpectedly back to work today and am preparing for two full days for the rest of the week as well.  So…that means being organised again and the most important start for that when you’ve children to get up for school the next day is bedtime.

Am I the only mum who has to deal with things like a daughter who suddenly starts speaking with an American accent and renames herself Elektra? Possibly even worse, although the American accent was pretty bad, then accuses me of trying to despatch her to a watery hell because I want to dry her hair and don’t I know that drying hair kills mermaids? Elektra soon discovered that didn’t cut any mustard with me, I’m not that stupid – I know that a mermaids hair must dry when she’s resting on the rocks in the sunshine.

The Day I Met Tall Chris

In the last month of 2011 I claim the dubious honour of being made redundant twice in one month – really truly; the first one was 20th Nov the second 20th Dec. So, I picked myself up (again) and enjoyed Christmas – well I’d paid for it already thinking I had a nice new shiny well paid job. Now, at the start of 2012, I find myself trawling websites, finding excuses as to why I still don’t have time to do the housework as properly as it should be and avoiding the temptation of the sales.

Today was supposed to be a kick myself up the backside and come on girl things really aren’t that bad day.  I had to have a blood test at the nurse this morning, fine, no issues, not pleasant but at least quick; then off to get fuel before I drive to Leeds for an interview with a recruitment agency.  Now my car is LPG converted which is great when you smugly fill up at 67.9p a litre but less great when the smug smile is wiped off your face as you spot the bodywork freezing where there is an obvious leak.  After careful deliberation which involved the thought processes of… oh it’ll be fine…..no I’ll drive to the train station and get the train in….. what happens if the leak continues at the train station and I return to carnage… I decided to go home and postpone interview.

After speaking to a very helpful garage (yes you read that right) who arranged to collect the car albeit sometime before 10pm that night I then decided to try and complete the online form for the government that I had tried and failed to do the previous day.  Progress was made this time as at least I learnt for sure I wouldn’t be able to complete the form online, so I was at the mercy of the phones.  Calls typically went as follows:

“Press 1 if you are making a new application, 2 if (etc etc)”  I press 1

“Press 1 if you are [insert random words], 2 if you are claiming [insanity due to automated telephone systems?]” I press 2 (naturally)

“To help us deal with your enquiry more efficiently please tell us your postcode, for example zed zed one three, three es es would be zed zed thirteen three es es.”

“Was that dee dee twelve two en en? If this is correct say yes otherwise say no” I say Yes

“Did you say No?” – I say No

“Was that Yes?” – do you know what I’m not sure anymore

“OK, Please wait while we transfer you to an adviser.

I’m sorry all our customer service advisers are busy at the moment our lines are open Monday to Friday 8am to 6pm or you can complete the form online at our website www.blahblahblah.gov.uk. Thank you.”

and the line goes dead, no queue, nothing, just try again later or sink slowly into a deep depression so that we no longer have to deal with your query as the little men in the white coats have taken all your problems away anyway!

After several aborted attempts and a number of telephone rantings to the parents to ease my pain (I’m very generous with my pain) I finally got through to a very nice chap who was not only human, but actually apologised for some of the nonsense questions he had to ask me.

So some achievements today, wow I was really cooking with gas – what now?  Well actually you’re more or less reading what I did next as I decided to set up a blog.  At the very least it would be a valve to vent daily(ish) frustrations and a record of funny events especially inolving the children.  Who knows it might motivate me to do some more writing, something I’ve loved since I was about 8 and my brother really got into a story I wrote for school (gold star don’t know you know).

Well by now I’d tucked into a glass of wine and was busy deliberating over a theme (design) for my blog, hope you approve.  Once chosen I was onto the really important stuff like not actually writing anything but changing the colour of the font at the top or adding a picture etc etc, by now it was well into the evening.  I was so engrossed that when there was a knock at the door I nearly spilt my wine, it was the garage man who had come to collect the car and whom I had totally forgotten about (bet you had too).

Not only was it dark it was also wet and rainy, so thanking the gods I hadn’t put my pj’s on yet I pulled on my coat, went out and showed self named Tall Chris where the problem was and handed over the keys…..